If you want to be a good communicator, you need to become a good listener. However, many people find it difficult to become good listeners. You need to realize that listening isn't just about hearing things that people say. You also need to gather all important information and analyze it. If the person asks for your opinion, you should be able to come up with sensible and workable solutions. Even if you can't find any good solution, you should learn something useful from the discussion.
Here are ways to become a good listener:
1. Don't let ego gets in the way: People can be more egoistic than necessary. If your thought is filled with selfishness, your listening process can shut down. If you insist that you are smart, it is less likely to listen to others. It will make you think that other people are socially or intellectually inferior. If you stop being egoistic, you will respect and listen others better.
2. Don't multitask: When listening to others, you should stop trying to multitask. Our brain can't really take in information while doing something else. If you start multitasking, your ability to listen will be impaired. When you are listening to something or someone, your brain's frontal cortex will process the information. Your brain can only do this serially and not in parallel. If you want to listen to something, it is important to drop everything, so you can really focus on it.
3. Stop shutting people off: If you disagree with someone, you need to keep that disagreement in your heart. Keep open minded and try to understand why the person think and do that way. Everyone has unique motivation and opinion, so you need to accept that. At the end of the conversation, you could finally understand why the person has that kind of thought process.
4. Control your desire to interject: When we talk to someone, we tend to try to project a favorable image. We may want to appear wise, smart and knowledgeable. If we do that, we may stop listening to the person. It is time to stop trying to appear knowledgeable. If you listen well, it is actually possible to deliver insightful questions later and you can extend the conversation in a more natural way.
5. Stop judging: Another common habit is trying to judge the words and actions of others. It will get worse if you think that person has been misguided and wrong. It will mean that you will dismiss his input. If you have disagreement, you will stop listening. Your judgmental thought process will get in the way. You need to thoughtfully assess the actions and thoughts of others in an objective manner.
6. Put away biases and preconceptions: If you keep holding on to your biases and preconceptions, you will stop listening to others. If you don't really have the experience in the area, it is better to listen and learn something from the discussion. If you don't have biases and preconceptions, you will remove the filters in your thought and you can be more open to anything.
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